The Burnt Orange Family Learns how to Blend in at Texas A&M

Having our first Aggie, there were some things we have learned.  This advice you will not find on Pinterest! For you parents on the hunt for Christmas gifts, you can read some of this list as an Aggie Holiday Shopping Guide.

1.       The Yeti Cooler- This is the iPhone 5 of coolers. 

If you whip out a yeti cooler, you are noticed.  Its like pulling out your new iPhone and everyone asking,  “is that an iPhone 5?” They are blowing up wedding registries all over College Station and will probably sell out this Christmas. Ladies, if you want to hold on to your man, show him some love and buy him a cooler he won’t be embarrassed to prop his boots on.

2.       Wranglers and Levis - these are real jeans. 

Do not show up in College Station with a pair of 7 Jeans.  You might as well show up wearing a Tutu.

3.       PFG - the Prada of A&M.

A PFG (Performance Fishing Gear) shirt is like the blankie or stuffed animal you had as a kid and could not live without.  Your PFG shirt goes with you on all your adventures and stays with you throughout life.  You wear it, and it reminds you of every hunting trip, fishing experience, or adventure you have had in it. It is like wearing your very own, grown-up security blanket. It also happens to look good on every Aggie from 18 to 85. Also, if a girl on campus is wearing one, it means she is taken.

4.    If your truck is not a 4x4, you are a “poser.”

At A&M your truck must have 4-wheel drive or you might as well be driving a smart car. But make sure your truck will fit in your dorm’s parking garage. At some dorms, several students have to park down the street because the garage can’t handle a muddy 4x4. They must have been designed at UT.

5.       A pair of cowboy boots- ladies these boots are not allowed to come from Nordstrom’s or Macy’s shoe department and Frye is not an acceptable brand.  They must come from a real cowboy store (which isn’t too hard to find in College Station).

6.       Chilifest - College Station’s own ACL Festival. Help charities, eat chili. Sounds like my kind of party.

7.       No ordering late night pizza, you order Pizza Rolls. 

From what I hear, Gumby’s serves the best. You choose it – BBQ Sauce, Ranch, Garlic Butter, Bleu Cheese, or Buffalo Sauce. You can worry about the quadruple bypass tomorrow. 

8.       Every Social Media post will end up being turned into a football conversation. 

My 20-year old daughter went to visit her brother at A&M. She wanted to take him out to dinner since he has been eating at the dorm or from a vending machine. I went on the Internet to find a place for Italian food. I avoid YELP because the reviews are canned, so I look for independent sources.  Every College Station restaurant review had one thing in common; it starts out as about food but ends up about the SEC!  After the Alabama game, the only topic worth discussing online is football. But really, what else is there?

9.       Bow ties – is Dr. Loftin setting a new trend at A&M?

I had not seen one in years until I went to an event at College Station and saw a few young men wearing them.  Bow ties are like good manners; you always appear to be smart if you have either. I don’t know what it is, but I just feel more comfortable with my daughter dating a man who can tie his own bow tie.

10.   Vending machines are a source of nourishment.  

I took a peek at my son’s bank statement a few weeks ago and thought his debit card had been stolen. And then I figured it out. At A&M, the vending machines take ATM cards and many a student uses this has their main source of food.

Please feel free to add any advice that you have.  This is meant to be light-hearted and fun.